Buddhists believe that life is suffering. I believe that this may even be their first point and I know it is probably one of the most often quoted idioms of any form of Buddhism. The question is ‘what is suffering’? I have often wondered this but never truly explored the idea until recently.
What is suffering?
Is it the loss of a child, a parent, a friend, an enemy?
Is it the loss of money?
Is it the loss of possessions, freedom, an arm, a leg?
Is suffering more mental than the above items? Is suffering the culmination of every bad thing that has ever happened to you from the moment you are born to the moment you die?
I have suffered…who hasn’t really. I’ve suffered indignities, embarrassment and more. Are these things what suffering really is about from the Buddhist perspective?
I’m wondering if it is more in the mental realm. As I begin my journey back into the ranks of the Akidoka and I begin to explore where my center truly lies I wonder if suffering is more along the lines of wanting what you cannot have.
We as humans go through this life constantly searching for that One Thing that is going to bring us happiness. For some of us its more money, for others it is more possessions, more children, a different boss, a different job. Anything that is going to get us over whatever hump we are currently residing behind.
I know that I’ve done it. If the job sucks I go back to school. I struggle to some how achieve that which I don’t care about because I know that if I complete it…their will be wonderous doors that open and the angels will sing and life will be good…..only their won’t be. If complete a Bachelors degree, a Masters degree, hell a PhD in the end I will still be stuck at a job with all of the things that go with a job; office politics, backstabbing, bad hours. None of it will go away, ever!
How many people have sold homes, moved to other states, taken a gazillion odd jobs all in an effort to find that one happy place that everyone dreams about? How many people have thought they’ve found the perfect place…until the next perfect place pops up in their little world? Is this the suffering the Buddhists talk about? Is this constant search for the unattainable the true suffering? I’m beginning to think it might be. As I look back on my life I begin to see a pattern.
I get miserable…I seek something better…I find it…I get miserable again and I seek again. Over and over and over through out life. I am never happy on this moment, this Now. I am forever looking to the future…the past…never my mind on where. I. Am. (Thank you Yoda for a great quote).
So then the key here is to live in the moment right? Not as easy as it might seem. Tomorrow is my last day off after a nearly two week vacation. Its been nice, its been relaxing but I find myself growing tense as the first day back draws near. I keep wishing for one more day, a few more hours. As I wish for these things my Now is slipping away quicker and quicker, sands through the hour glass. Rather than sitting, staring at the sand and lamenting over the lost time I need to embrace the Now and enjoy the moments I have.
So is suffering really our human quest to better ourselves or the attempted fulfillment of impossible dreams. Is suffering our seemingly innate need to create our own private utopia? Would we even know the utopia if we saw it. If we died today and went to ‘Heaven’ would we be happy with it? Or would we be wishing we were back on Earth so we could say goodbye…’if only I hadn’t smoked that last cigarette’…’if only I had turned left instead of right.’ So I say to you the reader, stop striving for that perfect job, wife, girl/boy friend, car, house, kid and instead concentrate on what you do have. Enjoy what you have now with each and every fiber of your being. That is the path to true happiness…and dare I say enlightenment…well maybe not enlightenment on a Buddhist Priest scale but for little ol’ me its probably as close as I’ll get! But then there I go wishing for something that isn’t really attainable. Try it dear reader, you never know what you might discover!
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