Do or do not...there is no try!

I think Yoda was onto something when he told Luke that. Or at least my mother tried to get me to think he was. Still, I do believe that for the most part that little quote is true and so it frustrates me when I don't live by it. Case in point...I want to write. I want to write a novel, a poem, a comic book...anything. I want to be able to say one day far from now in a galaxy far far away that I had something published! I don't care if its a two line hi-freaking-ku!

So if I want to be published (and I don't care what the 'pros' say...writing a blog doesn't count, expecially when you only have three followers...and two of them are me!) I need to actually produce something. I mean telling people I wanna write and then not writing for nearly 6 months really doesn't do a thing except perhaps makes me feel important. Oh and work memo's don't count either...I can't help the fact that I'm one of only two people on site who can type faster than 10 words a minute.

With that in mind I suppose I need to decide what genre I would write in and then narrow that down to what medium. hmmm And in all of this I'm fighting an uphill battle against a billion 'wanna-be' writers and those who with more tenacity than I seem to possess. Ms. Saintcrow is a pit-bull when it comes to writing and sticking-to-itism.

Why, you may ask, am I bringing this up now? Well, I'm glad you asked! I was watching Desperado last night on the moving picture tube and then flipped over to John Waynes "The Alamo" I also surfed over to hulu and watched an episode of Le Femme Nikita (I'm working through all of the seasons slowly) followed finally by the first episode of Batman: The Animated Series. All of this combined with my desire to write and I think I've come up with something. It's cheesy at this point and probably flat and lame. I'm borrowing on the popula crop of movie/tv shows but I'm also thinking I'm going to mine a genre that perhaps doesn't get mined as often as it should. For now I'll say this; the genre is thus; Western-Horror-Vamp-Action with just a little mysticism & werewolves thrown in for good measure....at least right now as I type this. Tonight it may change! ;-) So would someone read this type of novel? Do I care? Did Dan Brown or Gaiman care about what someone would read when they started their books? Probably not but you never know. So I'm off on a little journey. We'll see if it works or even gets finished. Maybe I have the next Jonah Hex....er wait no I don't think so...maybe I have the next X-men in the palm of my hands! lol One could always hope.

...And How?...

You know I think I just like coming up with funkly titles for my posts!

So not much new is going on. The comic-con is over, the Tour de France is over, the World Cup is over...hell Wimbeldon is even over. I have nothing to follow and nothing to look forward to. My Padres are on top of the NL West but that probably won't last as the team is young and I question their staying ability.

So this past weekend I really geeked out and plugged into the whole World Wide Web and my withdrawal has been difficult so I've continued to follow things on Twitter, Facebook and about a dozen other sites. It's interesting because there are all of these people posting and some of their posts/tweets I really dig. Its weird that you can have this odd sorta friendship with people we hardly know in 120 characters or less. Facebook & Twitter especially has really shrunken our world and yet we know even less about those around us. Sort of strange really.

In other news, I wrote something. It sucked and its not even close to what I wanted but it was still writing and it wasn't a blog so it was a start. I've scraped it but it got the ball moving and that's what is important....right?....Right! ;-)

Lovely Technology...oh how I love thee....

10 Years ago the San Diego Comic-Con was this small little thing that barely filled the San Diego Convention center. It was cool, it was intimate and I saw some of the people who made a difference in my early childhood....I mean I saw Stan Lee and said hi to him. He was sitting right there on a panel and taking questions from the likes of me and others far geekier than I. The man invented Spider-Man, X-men,and the Hulk, amongst others. He literally ruled my childhood. He taught me lessons my parents could never have gotten across to me. Hell I have a tattoo of one of his creations on my arm. It was great. We trolled the convention floor for deals, the latest and greatest and those oldies but goodies to fill the holes in our collections. Trading Card Games hadn't quite taken over yet and video games were still fairly rudimentary. No Halo, No Gears of War and certainly no Spider-Man or X-men movies. Rumors perhaps, to wet our appetites but nothing more.

Fast forward 10 years and you now have this insane, anarchy like entity that is the current SDCC. It's insane. I went last year (and would've gone this year had I just had the money) and we waited for nearly 90 minutes to get in. Once in it was a sea of geeks and nerds alike all united in their love for all things Comics. It was heaven. People are, as I type this, lining up outside the doors to be the first in. Yesterday there was a crazy long line just to get into one of the halls to witness a new trailer for Tron: Legacy. (I saw it on the web after and it is gnarly....and to think this movie is going to be out in Imax 3D....makes me shudder in pleasure...) SDCC is the coolest spectacle of all the goodness that is the world of the nerd. I miss it. I miss the smell, the sureallness of it all. The bigger than life displays and the open display of talent of both the fans and the people behind it all. We have movies, TV shows, video games and yes even those pesky trading card games.

And yet.....

I am not missing all of it. Thanks to the modern marvel we call technology I have been able to keep up with much of the latest news. I am wired in baby. I get to spend my time wishing I was there but tempering that wish with live Tweets from people I don't even know. I get to surf over to the comic book companies websites to see what their booths look like....mostly from the convenience of my phone!!! Yep my phone. I watched the Tron Legacy trailer on my phone I keep checking Twitter for the latest post with the #SDCC tag in it and I get to see the lines, and experience the costumes through their posted pics. It's amazing that not only can I do this but so can a million others spread throughout the world. Totally Wicked Cool. What an amazing time we live in to be able to access this kind of tech so easily. Yes, I know, for some its not so easy to reach (heck comics are $2.99 a pop at the low end and the toys are even more extravagant...and don't even get me started on how much it costs to see a movie now-a-days....especially with a family of 5) but still there are ways and they're not to hard to access.

So while I fully intend to attend next year (and perhaps for more than just one day)I will sit back and roll, like a pig in slop, around in the sweet goodness that is today's modern technology...and like the title says: Oh Sweet Lovely Technology, oh how I love Thee.

That's it folks, that's all I've got. Run, don't walk folks. Eye that exit sign...that sign that signifies sweet, intoxicating freedom. Hover near and please don't push...aw screw that...if they're to slow, trample them my friends. Get the Fuck out and enjoy that weekend. Embrace it like a long lost lover, kiss it and make sweet love to it until you're spent and can't go any further. I will be here watching over you, stuck at work...waiting for my turn to bum rush the exit!!!! Party well my friends cuz in two days you'll be shackled to that damn desk once more! ;-) muhahahahaha

Ah the new addition....

Well this one is going to be a short one. I'm actually just trying out the keyboard on my new laptop. It's a nice little machine with a small 11" screen and the keyboard is also just a tiny bit smaller and just off enough that its throwing me off a bit. My big ol' mitts keep hitting the wrong keys or ending up in between two keys. It's alright thought I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually.

However this little thing ROCKS!!!! It's seriously fast and I just transferred nearly 3000 songs from an external HD to this thing in slightly over 10 minutes. I've watched a few comiccon videos and it streams really fast. It rocks! I'm loving it and can hardly wait to really get into it and maybe try a few games on it.

I love my funks.....

Another day, another planned activity, another morning that I have to get up & go & today I just don't want to. We were supposed to go down to San Diego and to be honest I just don't feel like it. It's a 90 minute drive to go to one museum at a cost of nearly $40 so we can walk round for an hour. I'm having a hard time justifying that today, especially when my bed is so comfortable.

So what to do today? Good question. I don't have an answer really. But I do think I need to work out soon. I think this little funk I'm slowly getting ready to bed will slink out the back door at the site of its arch nemisis...black lycra shorts! I've not been on the bike in two weeks cuz of my knee injury but that's pretty much gone at this point & I don't have any excuses except maybe childcare responsibilities which is what's keeping me off the rubber today and instead typing this.
I'm also still struggling with the black ball of an idea that has been haunting me from the recesses of my mind. It's like sitting on the palm of my hand & I'm just waiting for it to leap up and do something. In my palm is closer than it has been in the past week so I'm a bit afraid to touch it. Poking things is not generally a good way to find out if its alive & kicking. Living things run away or bite!

So with all that in mind I guess ill go see what I can do to entertain my rowdy children today. Maybe ill just unloaded them on the local park for an hour. Poor park, I almost feel sorry for it. Summers got 3 weeks left & I'm running out of steam...my pocket book is also sufferring, it looks like a 40 year old crack whore comin off her latest high, it'll be nice when the kids go back and I can set some money aside. The family lap top could also use a break.

Argh....hmph...snikt....or I'm a comic book fiend.....

The past few days I've begun making my way through a 2' tall stack of comic books I've been meaning to read. Its been quite fun & enlightening. At 37 I realize I still love comic books, & being a healthy male in full control of my faculties ive also realized that I am in love with Sara Pezzini, Emma Frost, & Betsy Braddock! What's cool about out my stack is that for some tittles ive not picked it up for 2 years. 5hats roughly 24 issues. One story arc flows right into another. I'm loving it,probably wont happen again but ill enjoy while I have it.

In other Acyd like news...I have this story...er well not a story per se but this idea rather & its sitting right on the edge of my mind percolating yet unrecognizable. A fetus of an idea with no real identity. Yet when i go to grab it it remains elusive, it slips from my grasp like a melting ice cube. It's being fueled by the book im reading. Its an early book by the very excellent author William Gibson. It's a reap cyberpunk book with console. cowboys, wetworks, & assassins. This combined with the resurgence of my comic book fetish has gotten my head rolling. It hurts & it sux. I can't really write it eitjer because its not formed and seems to not want to. I'm seeking something to release it too, desperately seeking release. I've tried more comic books, more books, more cartoons, more web surfing.....all sort of difficult with limited funds and two munchkins who have sort of stolen my computer. I wish for its release like a nympho needs release. I so want to spew my idea forth onto the screen of my computer if for not other than to get it out. The build up is consuming and nearly overwhelming. I'm not happy with my wee little brain this weekend.

So folks if you know how to give Mr. Acyd his release please step forward and be heard! Until then i will be mudling through thisthing called life reading, wishing, & pondering the great mystery they call life.

Ah, identity is such a strange thing....

Who am I, who are you, who are we? All excellent questions in a world that wants us all to be the same. Fashionistas look to design clothing that is different and unique but in our quest to be unique we simply conform to that which everyone else wears/wants. Take the tattoo trend as an example. Back in 1994ish Tattos were taboo and yet there I was getting one. I spent my hard earned money on a tat that by todays standards...sucks. I was a rebel, I had a tatoo, I stood out in the crowd. Not so today, nope. I only have a total of 4 and they're all hidden, I'm a freaking wuss by todays standard but I noticed myself looking at a guy crusing in his oversized truck with his arm hanging out the window tattoos up and down his arm. They were nice but I sort just shook my head and thought to myself...looks just like the rest of them. Tattoos have become the norm. To be 'cool' you have to have a tat,you have to dress a certain way and you have to do it all at a certain age or you're just sorta sad!

So coming up in an age when everyone wanted to be different. I mean truly different I still wanna be different, to stand out in some way. When I was young I saw the punk movement born, flourish and die. When I was young I got to see the Goth movement come into the world all sulky and cool and then I saw it die off slowly. I saw hair metal, metal in general, speed metal, death metal. Now all of it is gone only to come back as some sad version of its former self. The world is trying to reproduce it all at the same time but in a corporate controlled way. It's freakin' sad.

So I ask again, how do we remain apart as individuals in a world on comformity? Do we create for ourselves little worlds tailored to just how we think the world should be in the Matrix. Make the internet our own little home. Do you wanna be fluffy, flowery and eternally happy?...make your blog reflect that, your facebook comments support you and only the truest happiest, fluffiest people followed on Twitter. Are you metal instead? Are you single handendly trying to revive the goth movement. Well paint you blog, tweet your tweets, befriend the right friends and take the appropriate pictures and BLAM you're there. All the while you're really Joe Blow average Accountant down at the local accounting firm working 9 to 5 with weekends off, the beemer in the garage and 2.5 kids playing out front on green grass behind a white picket fence!

I'm probably the biggest poser of them all. Look at my blog. All dark and weird with changing titles and dreary 'gothic' posts about life and the drudgery...oh the humanity people! lol I just have a dark side to me is all and I like to embrace it at times. This is one of those times. I mean the whole time I've been writing this and putting dark, dreary and sexy pics on my blog I've also been making a Mickey Mouse cake with my twin girls for my wifes birthday tomorrow while also entertaining my 3 year old by making funny faces and running around like a chimp!!!! Yep, that's me gothic, chip mime, daddy. Wow if my kids get out of this with their mind intact I'll be blown away.

So in this technologically advanced society what will become of our identity? Will we eternally be battling out our internal identity crisis? Or will our children somehow figure all of this out and be able to balance it all in one neat little package and not be as fragmented as my generation is? It's entirely possible, after all my 3 year old already knows how to manipulate the mouse and play a Nintendo DS. When I was three we were lucky if our Gi-Joe figures had moving parts! It wasn't that long ago that my Dad, Brother and I were playing Asteroids off a cassette tape on a Vic 20 (ok it was a bit ago but still). The current up and coming generation will probably be as plugged in as the Console Cowboys of William Gibsons 1985ish book tittled Nueromancer invisioned. I know that even at my advanced age of 37 I'm pretty darned close!

Whatever the solution, grab ahold folks cuz I think this ride is just going to get faster, and scarier. Plug in, strap down, shut-up and hang on! ;-)